Salvage
by Robyn of Sherwood
Summary: Nathaniel's return to Vigil's Keep was less pleasant that he imagined. But it led to the renewal of a relationship that he had thought could never be salvaged. FCousland/Nathaniel
1. Prologue

_This should go without saying but: I don't own anything you recognize from Dragon Age: Origins or DA:O-Awakenings. Those are the property of their respective orders. ALSO: This is a fan fiction, not canon so if it doesn't jive with the game entirely, sorry._

_If you start reading it and find you hate it, don't waste your time flaming me. Thanks!_

_Prologue_

He probably would have been better off staying out of it. Nathaniel knew that, but when he had seen a young woman being cornered by some of the local boys, he just had to step in.

"I don't think the young woman is interested in your company, lads." he said, putting his hand on one of their shoulders. The lad looked surprised that Nathaniel had gotten that close without detection.

"**I** don't think we asked you." he said. "Of course the little lady is interested in congenial company." His two friends circled around Nathaniel as he reached forward to grab the girl's wrist. Several things happened at once. The girl twisted her wrist out of the man's grip and slammed the base of her other hand into his nose. Nathaniel was able to deal with his two henchmen similarly. The girl glanced at him warily.

"I mean you no harm." he assured her. "My name is Nathaniel Howe. Are you alright?" The girl nodded. She was pretty, no more than seventeen, with long dark hair framing a delicately featured face set with pale green eyes. He could see what had attracted the men to her. She was tall for her age and was already well-formed. Her wary expression never wavered but she had calmed down. Her fists unclenched as she smiled.

"I don't want to seem ungrateful. Thank you." she said. "That's what I get for wandering off, you know." she half-shrugged.

"You're visiting the city with your family?" he asked, motioning her to follow him into the open marketplace. She followed.

"With my father and brother. Mother stayed at home." she blinked in the unexpected sunlight. "I've never been to such a big city before." She noticed Nathaniel looking at her. "You think I'm some sort of hick, don't you?"

"Not at all. We have farmers in Amaranthine as well." He paused for a moment, noting the small smile on her face. "I haven't asked your name."

"Elissa." she said, holding out her hand to shake his. He took it.

"It's nice to meet you Elissa." he smiled. "Would you like the unofficial tour of Amaranthine?" Elissa smiled brightly.

"Of course!"


	2. Chapter 1

_See disclaimer in the Prologue._

_Chapter 1_

Nathaniel had to struggle to bring his mind to the present. She had changed so much from the cheerful young woman he'd met all those years ago. For one thing, her eye color had changed, he suspected that those mysterious Grey Warden rituals had something to do with that. From their bright green, they had turned to an icy blue, her dark hair was beginning to gray. Never had he imagined that the Gray Warden who had killed the Archdemon, 'saved' Ferelden, and killed his father had been little Elissa Cousland. He had naturally assumed that Fergus Cousland had destroyed his family, but apparently he had been wrong. Elissa's eyes widened when she saw him. She had been escorted by the seneschal and a guard. She turned to the jailer, who had been seated near Nathaniel's cell and gave him a tight smile.

"I need a moment alone with the prisoner." she said. The jailer started to rise and protest but Elissa caught his eye. There was no threat in her eyes, but it was clear that she would not be pleased if her wishes were contested. The jailer fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them to her.

"Be careful, he's a right bastard that one." he warned as he walked to the door. "I heard it took five Grey Wardens to catch him." Elissa motioned for the seneschal and the guard to follow him.

"I'll take care." she said. "Expect my decision in a few moments." The Wardens bowed and followed the jailer out the door. Elissa didn't look at Nathaniel again until the door had closed securely behind them. "I thought you were dead." she said frankly, still watching the door. Nathaniel shifted in his cell.

"Thought or hoped?" he asked, his voice gruff. He fixed his eyes on the wall of his cell that was opposite him. Elissa finally looked in his direction. Her voice was clear when she answered.

"Would you like my honest answer?" she asked him. He heard the soft clang of her armor as she moved towards him. She stopped next to the jailer's desk and crouched in front of the small chest that held Nathaniel's things.

"Don't tell me that you got squeamish at the thought of having to kill me yourself?" Nathaniel sneered. "After an Archdemon, killing_ me_ should be no trouble at all." Elissa turned to him quickly and rose.

"Don't be an idiot." she snapped. "I meanth that I'd hoped that you'd never have to see-"

"How you destroyed my family?" Nathaniel's anger drove him to interrupt her. How dared she pretend that she cared for him? How dared she pretend that she didn't engineer all of the hell his family had been through?

"How far your father had fallen." she said calmly. She approached the cell with a frown deepening the crease between her eyes. "I know you Nathaniel, your a good-"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING!" Nathaniel all but roared, slamming his hands against the bars of his cell. She didn't step back, but her eyes became wary.

"I know that you're no traitor." was her reply. Nathaniel glared at her. She was looking at him not with pity in her eyes, but-much to his surprise, concern. "I know that you would never have condoned treason."

"And you want me to believe that my father did?" he asked. Elissa sighed and started to fumble with her breastplate. She managed to undo the straps and she pulled it off. She was wearing a plain white blouse underneath and she set the heavy metal aside.

"I think you already do." she said finally. "But, in case you don't, let me remind you." She started to remove her greaves and gauntlets. "He conspired with Loghain Mac Teir to kill King Cailan and in the process started a civil war. He helped Loghain to rip this country apart with hordes of darkspawn and an archdeacon at our gates." one greave slid across the floor of the prison and she started to unfasten the other. "He hired an assassin to kill the only two people in Ferelden who could kill the Darkspawn, one being myself, and the other being Alistair Theirin, the new King of Ferelden." she let the other greave slide across the room and removed the waist guard of her armor. She glanced at him. "The technical term for that would be regicide." she informed him. She had stripped off all her armor and, her back to him, pulled her hair into a tight horsetail. "He murdered House Cousland, their retainers, and their vassals. He usurped their title, lands, and privileges." Finally she turned towards him. "Your father killed a good man in Bryce Cousland, a good woman in Eleanor Cousland, and-" she seemed to stop herself and then, snatching one of her gauntlets off the table, threw it at the far wall. "He killed my sister-in-law and-and my young nephew. Innocents, Nathaniel." her voice was low, but hard as diamond.

She inhaled deeply and then said, "And he never knew it, but he killed me too." she turned to him. "I became a Grey Warden in exchange for my escape from Highever." her ice-blue eyes glittered at him in the darkness. "I'm tainted now, because of him." she approached the cell and leaned against the bars. "Tell me that he was innocent, Nathaniel, that I was wrong to kill him." Nathaniel stared at her.

"So you did-"

"Yes. With these two hands. And, Maker forgive me, I'd do it again."

Nathaniel was amazed. The Elissa that he had known all those years ago-he truly began to believe that that carefree child was dead. That she had been succeeded by this stern, vengeful woman. He swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat.

"What will you do with me, Commander?" he asked. "You must know that I came here to kill you." Elissa backed away from his cell and turned around. She seemed to be fighting with herself.

She said nothing for a moment, he could see the muscles of her back ripple under her thin shirt. She suddenly shook her head, as though banishing a thought from her mind. She glanced at him and it seemed that there was that old mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"I take it that you want me to return the favor?" she asked. Nathaniel shrugged, trying not to look too surprised.

"It seems like the fair thing to do." he allowed. She smirked at him but walked to the door of the prison to call her retainers back.

"You wanted to deprive the Wardens of their commander, I'm going to use you to swell our ranks." she said and turned to the seneschal. "I'm invoking the Right of Conscription. Nathaniel Howe will undergo the Joining with Oghren and the others." The assembled group gasped their surprise.

"With all due respect, Commander, are you sure?" the seneschal asked. Elissa unlocked the chest that contained Nathaniel's possessions. She took a small dagger from it and then turned to unlock Nathaniel's cell.

Door open, she held the dagger out to him. He took it, amazement in his eyes. She held her arms out to either side. "You can kill me, here and now-or you can fight at my side, and bring honor back to the Howe name." Nathaniel stared at her, tightened his grip on the dagger.

The prison was tense. She had taken a risk, giving him the dagger. But the Nathaniel she had known was an honorable man. Elissa saw shades of that man in the set of brown eyes now surveying her. She could see the battle waging within his soul. She kept her arms out purposely, mentally choreographing her next move if he did attack her.

The seneschal and the guard had put their hands to the hilts of their swords while Nathaniel gripped and regripped the hilt of his small dagger, his mind whirling. Elissa stood before him, her white blouse clinging to her slender frame, he could just see a scar on her shoulder through the thin fabric.

She had killed his father and cast his family's name in the dirt. This woman had cast his father's vassals out of the castle that she now claimed for the Grey Wardens, the order that his father had always stigmatized as Orlesian filth. Was she mocking him? Mocking his powerlessness?

Or did she truly want to give him a chance? The silver eyes in front of him were strong. She would never let him know what she was truly thinking. She never had when they were younger. Could he truly bring honor back to the Howe name? Would she let him? His hand tightened, his muscles coiled, ready to move.

And he slid the dagger into the belt of his trousers.


	3. Chapter 2

_See disclaimer in the prologue_

_Chapter 2_

"Ah, Nathaniel, there you are." Rendon Howe summoned his son to the reception hall. Nathaniel had spent much of the afternoon with Elissa, showing her the sights around Amaranthine, such as they were. When she had mentioned that she had to go back to her father, he had gone on to the practice fields to work on his archery. Now, several hours later, he was bathed and prepared for dinner. He raised an eyebrow at his father's voice and turned back towards the receiving hall.

"Father?" he asked, entering the large vaulted hall. The large fire-pit was ablaze with light and the room felt comfortably warm. His father stood near it and held out a hand to motion Nathaniel over. Rendon Howe could no longer be called handsome; age had greyed his black hair and had begun to spot his skin. Only his bright brown eyes and his characteristically smooth voice hinted at the vigor of his youth.

"Teyrn Cousland is coming for supper with his children." He said. "They're visiting the city to do some business and they'll be staying the night with us." He shot Nathaniel a meaningful look. "He's bringing along his daughter, who is about your age." Nathaniel's eyebrow rose again and he shrugged.

"And you want me to make a good impression I suppose?" he asked sardonically. Rendon pursed his lips. He was displeased and that was a face that Nathaniel knew well. "I'll be nice." Rendon was prevented from saying anything by the opening of the hall doors. A pair of gentlemen entered. One looked to be his father's age, with a rounded genial face and smiling grey eyes. The younger looked like his father with brown hair and eyes instead of grey. Rendon advanced, hands held out and Teyrn Cousland greeted him with a happy embrace.

"How have we let it go so long, Rendon?" the Teyrn asked, grinning. "It feels like ages since I've seen you!" those grey eyes turned to Nathaniel. "Is this your eldest?" Rendon Howe moved his arm so that Nathaniel could step forward to shake the Teyrn's hand.

"This is. I have two others but the Maker knows where they've run off to. Nathaniel, this is Bryce Cousland, my friend from my distant soldiering days."

"By the Maker he's grown. Last I saw you you were just a babe yourself." Bryce invited he son forward. "This is Fergus, my eldest. I've one other, but she seems to have gotten lost." He looked behind him as though expecting his daughter to materialize behind him. Nathaniel shook the young man's hand as someone entered the great hall through one of the side doors. Dark hair was curled around a disturbingly familiar face. Green eyes scanned the men in the room and alighted Nathaniel for the briefest of moments before moving on to his father. She smiled and approached the Arl with one hand extended.

"I really must beg your pardon my lord!" she said. "You have the most exquisite tapestry in the apse by the main hall. I absolutely had to admire it. It's the Battle of Nordbotten, isn't it?" she asked. Rendon took her hand and smiled down into her face.

"You know your military history." he said.

"It is a passion of mine." She added confidingly. "It is such a pleasure to finally meet you, Arl Howe, my father says the most wonderful things about you."

"They are vicious lies, all of them." Rendon said, grinning. Elissa let fly her charming smile and her eyes flicked to Nathaniel.

"We've met before." She said to him. This sparked her older brother's attention.

"Where?" he demanded. Nathaniel grinned.

"Today, in the market." He said. "It's been far too long." Elissa laughed.

"You'll be pleased to know, Arl Howe, that your son played the part of the Templar in shining armor to my damsel in distress this morning."

"Did he? I hope he conducted himself admirably, as befits a Howe." He asked, casting a sidelong look at his son.

"Admirably indeed." She said. "He's fast with his fists."

"Like his father." Teyrn Cousland said, grinning at his old comrade.

"Rather, I imagine that Lady Elissa is much like _her_ father." Nathaniel said and that sardonic tone was back in his voice. "I very much doubt that she needed my help at all."

"Not much at all. There are guards in Highever who wouldn't approach her for a King's ransom" Fergus said, tugging on one of his sister's curls.

"Intimidated by my beauty, I'm sure." Elissa said, eyes narrowing.

"Intimidated by _something_."

"Now, now!" Teyrn Cousland said, he was laughing. "That is enough. Arl Howe and young Nathaniel have better things to do than to listen to you bicker."

"Oh, I don't know. They're quite good at it." Nathaniel said and he glanced at his father. "I don't think Thomas and Delilah are nearly as proficient." He winced suddenly and noticed that Lady Elissa had trodden on his toe. An elven servant entered the great hall to announce that dinner was ready. Nathaniel turned to Elissa and formally held out his arm to her. "Allow me to escort you into dinner; I'm sure that you could give me some pointers."

(A/N: I should have put this in the top, but I did try to add a little charm and civility in this chapter. Rendon Howe may hate Bryce Cousland, but I think that he'd be damned if he let Bryce see it before he was ready to make his move. Let me know how I did pls! I love feedback!)


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